4 Tips to Prepare Your Mind (and Heart) for the Holiday Season

October often feels like the quiet drumroll before the holiday season begins. At the end of the month, we kick off with Halloween—a favorite for both kids and adults. Then comes November and Thanksgiving, which quickly rolls into December with Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and more. Lastly, but not least, January marks the beginning of the New Year.

That’s four months of celebrations, expectations, and transitions all stacked together. It’s no wonder that, for many, October is when we start to prepare mentally. We make lists. We check our calendars. We start thinking about travel plans, gifts, budgets, and all the moving parts that make up “the holidays.”

But let’s pause here and check in.

How are you feeling as the season begins to peek around the corner?

Are you the type who feels a buzz of excitement? Do you embrace the cooling weather, the changing leaves, the scent of cinnamon in the air, the early sounds of holiday music?

Or do you start to feel anxious? Do you dread the planning that comes with the season—the phone calls, the emails, the group chats that never stop pinging?

Do you notice yourself lying awake at night with a running to-do list in your head? Do you find yourself accidentally skipping coffee dates with friends, putting off self-care, or losing sight of what’s actually important to you?

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t have to be this way. The holidays will always come with a little hustle and bustle, but they don’t have to come with panic, exhaustion, or that creeping sense that you’re missing the moments that actually matter.

Let’s talk about some ways to avoid the “holiday scaries” and keep this season joyful, balanced, and grounded.

Tip #1: Keep a Dedicated Planner or Calendar

Our brains are wonderful at many things, but holding dozens of commitments, gift lists, and meal plans all at once? Not so much. When you try to store it all in your head (or scattered across random texts and apps) it only adds to the mental load.

Choose one trusted place to keep everything: a paper planner, a wall calendar, or a digital app that you like and actually use. Write down your commitments, deadlines, and special events.

This helps you clear your mind, so you’re not constantly rehearsing what you might be forgetting, and lets you visualize how much you’re committing to. If you see a week (or even a single weekend) filling up fast, you can pause and decide where to say no before you hit burnout.

Sometimes peace comes not from doing everything perfectly, but from intentionally choosing to do less.

Need a Helping Hand This Holiday Season?

Tip #2: Lean on Your Friends to Keep You Accountable

The holiday season can pull us in so many directions that we forget about the people who actually help us feel grounded. Friends, the family you choose, are often a vital source of joy, rest, and laughter this time of year.

Let your friends know that this season tends to be busy and that you may need a friendly nudge if you start canceling too many plans. Sometimes we pull away not because we don’t care, but because stress tricks us into thinking isolation is rest. In reality, a night laughing with friends who accept us fully often provides the exact relief we’re looking for.

Tip #3: Schedule a “Chosen Family” Celebration

Not everyone has family gatherings that feel safe, supportive, or truly celebratory, and that’s okay. One way to reclaim the season is to create your own traditions with the people who love you for who you are.

This doesn’t have to be elaborate. You could host a casual potluck, gather for board games, do a holiday movie marathon, or simply exchange notes of gratitude. What matters is that you take intentional time to bask in the community that feels easy, natural, and joy-filled.

Holiday joy doesn’t have to come from where you came from. It can come from the life you’ve built, the people you’ve chosen, and the rituals that make you feel whole.

Tip #4: Protect Your Energy With Gentle Boundaries

One of the hardest, but most freeing, parts of preparing for the holidays is getting honest about your limits. It’s okay to say no to hosting, to traveling, or to attending every single event. It’s okay to leave early. It’s okay to protect your peace.

You can communicate boundaries with kindness:

• “I’m keeping things simple this year, so I won’t be exchanging gifts, but I’m really looking forward to spending time together.”

• “I’d love to stop by for a bit, but I can only stay a couple of hours.”

• “This year we’re trying to have more downtime at home, so we won’t be at every gathering, but we hope to see you soon.”

Remember: boundaries aren’t about shutting people out. They’re about staying emotionally present when you do say yes.

Therapy in Charlotte, NC for the Holiday Months

Sometimes, no matter how many lists we make or boundaries we set, the season still stirs up big feelings, feelings of grief, loneliness, family tension, anxiety, or even guilt. If this resonates with you, therapy can be an incredible support.

Together, we can:

• Identify what’s truly important to you and let go of the rest.

• Process complicated family dynamics in a safe, neutral space.

• Build coping tools to manage stress and anxiety in real time.

• Create new ways of experiencing the season that feel nourishing and authentic.

You don’t have to power through on your own. The holidays are meant to be meaningful, not miserable. If you’d like to learn more, please don’t hesitate to reach out for a free consultation. Let’s create a version of the season that protects your peace, honors your values, and leaves room for actual joy. 

I would like to be clear that this blog post is not intended to substitute for professional counseling. If you are in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional counselor.

Cheryl D. Perry MA, LCMHC, LPC, NCC