Finding Gratitude for Yourself This Thanksgiving

November is synonymous with Thanksgiving. For many of us, that means ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and maybe even the once-a-year tablecloth that only sees daylight in late fall. It’s the season of football games humming in the background, family members debating pie flavors, and friends gathering for their own chosen traditions.

It’s wonderful. And often exhausting.

Because let’s be honest: there’s pressure in this season. We’re encouraged (or flat-out told) to be grateful. For our families. For our jobs. For our homes. For all the people and privileges in our lives. And while that’s a lovely and worthy practice, it can also unintentionally push us away from something equally important: gratitude for ourselves.

This year, what if you allowed yourself to turn inward? What if, instead of only thinking about who and what you’re thankful for, you also asked:

“What am I grateful for about myself?”

Why Self-Gratitude Matters

Most of us are practiced at recognizing what we appreciate in others. It’s often much harder to extend that same grace to ourselves, especially if we live with anxiety, perfectionism, or that ever-present voice that whispers, “It’s selfish to focus on yourself.”

But here’s the truth: gratitude isn’t selfish when it starts at home. In fact, it can be profoundly healing. When we notice and appreciate what’s already good within us, we strengthen our sense of identity, self-worth, and emotional resilience. We remind ourselves: I matter, too.

Self-gratitude is a way to acknowledge your own humanity, the quirks, the strengths, the growth, even the softness that others may not always see.

My Own Practice: Quirks, Kindness, and Quiet Moments

Here’s what this looks like for me:

I’m grateful that I’m left-handed. It’s a small thing, but it feels like a fun marker of uniqueness. In a family of right-handed people, it sets me apart in a way that often leads to fun conversations or playful compliments.

I’m grateful for the kindness I show myself. I make sure I practice self-care: drinking enough water, making sure I get protein in my meals, and caring for Connor, my cat, who I’m always grateful for!

I’m grateful for the kindness I offer strangers. I take a moment to look at someone when I ask, “How are you?” and mean it. I pause. I listen. I try to put genuine intention behind those everyday exchanges. It’s not dramatic, but it’s meaningful–to me and often to the other person.

And that’s the beauty of self-gratitude: it doesn’t have to be monumental. It’s about pausing to notice what’s already there, what already makes you, you.

Need Help Practicing Self-Gratitude?

What Might You Be Grateful For About Yourself?

Take a moment and consider: what about you deserves a quiet thank you?

It could be something visible or external:

• The color of your hair.

• The texture that makes it uniquely yours.

• Your voice, the way it sounds when you sing or speak.

• Your knack for hosting and making people feel welcome.

• The way you arrange flowers, wrap gifts, or pair outfits that others admire.

Or it might be something quieter, more internal:

• Your ability to sit comfortably in silence.

• The way you think deeply about others.

• The way you listen without interrupting.

• The little rituals that bring peace to your day.

• The strength it took to get through a difficult season.

There are no wrong answers here. If it’s something that feels meaningful to you, it’s worth acknowledging.

Tips for Reaching Inward This Season

If turning inward doesn’t come naturally, that’s okay. Here are a few gentle ways to begin:

1. Pause before bed. Each night, name one thing about yourself you’re grateful for, even if it feels silly or small. Over time, you’ll start to see a pattern of strengths and qualities you may have overlooked.

2. Write yourself a thank-you note. This might feel odd, but it’s powerful. Thank yourself for what you’ve navigated this year. For showing up. For trying, even when things were hard.

3. Look for what others notice. Sometimes, we can borrow perspective. Think about the compliments you’ve received, not about appearance, necessarily, but about how you made someone feel, or how they described your energy, creativity, or humor. Often, others see what we minimize in ourselves.

4. Use mindful moments. While driving, showering, or sipping coffee, ask yourself: “What do I love about being me?” Let your mind wander and notice what surfaces.

5. Practice self-compassion alongside gratitude. If self-critical thoughts pop up, meet them gently. You’re not trying to prove you’re perfect–just that you’re worthy of kindness and acknowledgment, the same way you would affirm a friend.

A Season of Outward and Inward Thanks

Thanksgiving will always be about gathering, gratitude, and connection, and that’s a beautiful thing. But you deserve to be included in that circle of appreciation.

This season, I invite you to hold space for yourself, too. To recognize that the same care you extend outward can (and should) be turned inward.

You are not just someone who gives thanks. You are someone worth being thankful for.

If this feels a bit tough for you, or you’d like to explore how you can be a little more grateful for yourself, and you’re a resident of South or North Carolina, please reach out. I’d love to help you practice a little self-gratitude this holiday season.

I would like to be clear that this blog post is not intended to substitute for professional counseling. If you are in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional counselor.

Cheryl D. Perry MA LCMHC LPC NCC