Do you ever feel like you just aren’t being heard by your partner? As if you’ve made the effort to communicate your feelings, but they’re not really listening? And the frustration and hurt are just building and building?

As a therapist working with individuals across North and South Carolina, I hear this often. While I don’t provide couples counseling myself (and I frequently recommend it when appropriate), many of my clients come to sessions wanting to talk about their romantic relationships. They want to feel closer. More understood. Less reactive. Less alone.

Valentine’s Day tends to shine a particular spotlight on love. Romantic love. Partnered love. The kind of love that comes in heart-shaped boxes and social media captions. And while there’s nothing wrong with celebrating connection with others, this time of year can also quietly stir up feelings of loneliness, pressure, or self-criticism.

I encourage you to widen that definition of love. Because before we focus on seeking love from others, it’s important to look at the relationship we have with ourselves.

As 2025 comes to a close, many of us are noticing something familiar yet uncomfortable: that blend of excitement, anxiety, and pressure that tends to show up right before the new year. If you’ve felt that knot in your stomach while thinking about 2026, you’re not alone. This season can stir up questions like Am I doing enough? Am I ready? Did I even meet my goals for this year?

But here’s the truth: preparing for the new year doesn’t have to mean rigid resolutions or even intentions. It can be as simple and as powerful as pausing to reflect, looking at your new year anxiety with compassion, and gently considering how you want to move into the next year of your life.

November is synonymous with Thanksgiving.

It’s wonderful. And often exhausting.

Because let’s be honest: there’s pressure in this season. We’re encouraged (or flat-out told) to be grateful. For our families. For our jobs. For our homes. For all the people and privileges in our lives. And while that’s a lovely and worthy practice, it can also unintentionally push us away from something equally important: gratitude for ourselves.

“I just want to know who I really am.”

This is one of the most common and vulnerable statements I hear from adults in therapy. And often, it’s whispered between tears or after a long pause, when someone has spent years living according to expectations, roles, or inherited beliefs without stopping to ask: Is this actually me?

Relationships can be beautiful, frustrating, joyous, traumatic, and so much more. But they can be particularly messy when one foundational part of us is lacking: self-love.

Thanksgiving is a time when we gather with family and friends, share delicious meals, and express our gratitude for things in our lives. Some of us have the tradition of going around the table and saying what we're thankful for. While this serves as a beautiful reminder of the importance of gratitude, let's take a moment to be curious about something.

Why do we limit this ritual to just one day a year?

Remember playing on the playground during recess as a kid? When another kid would wander up to you and proudly proclaim that they also have a Care Bear shirt? Or maybe you both noticed you were playing with the same toy dinosaur and excitedly started creating paths in the sand for your twin toys. And then bam! Just like that, you're the best of friends.

Don't you wish it was that easy today, as an adult? Just wander up to someone, strike up a conversation, and suddenly you have a vacation planned together? If only!

This time of year you might hear a lot about vacations. Maybe your friend has been texting you excitedly about their big vacation abroad. A neighbor might have asked you to house-sit while they're away. Maybe every time you look at social media you're confronted with pictures of new destinations, wonderful food, and smiling faces.

Maybe you're thinking, When is it my turn?

Valentine’s Day is an excellent reason for you to learn to love yourself more. Read on to learn more about the importance of self-love.