Learning to Love Yourself
Self-love. You've probably heard this term before. It seems to be the buzz word when talking about mental health, especially around this time of year. While it's great that the media is aware of self-love and self-care, sometimes we lose sense of what love for self really is and why it's so important.
This month, let's take a moment to understand love for self and how we can be better at embracing ourselves.
What exactly is self-love?
Quite literally, self-love is just that! Love for self. But let's dive a little deeper. Love for self is a deep appreciation for all that makes you you. It's you caring for yourself mentally, physically and emotionally; it's those tiny actions that nurture you and make you whole.
But isn't it selfish to focus on myself? Not at all! Love for self isn't debilitating to anyone else and you're not a bad person for wanting to take care of you. Love for self is self-sustaining. Self-love means you're giving yourself everything you deserve, which in turns means you have more to give.
Self-love might look a little different for everyone. Maybe for you it's forgiving yourself when you make a mistake. Maybe it's by setting healthy boundaries. Or maybe even talking about yourself in a kind and loving way ("I had a great day today because, even though I didn't accomplish all I wanted to, what I did finish was well done and well worth it.")
Self-Love vs Self-Care
Sometimes it can seem like self-love and self-care are the same thing. But it's important to note that self-love is loving yourself regardless of where you are in life. The acts that support our self-love, like taking care of our bodies, taking restorative breaks or blocking out time for just ourselves, are self-care practices.
In other words, self-care leads to self-love.
Why is love for self so important?
Particularly during this time of year, we're surrounded by messages that say we need a partner to love. What we need to remember is this: We will always be with ourselves no matter who else is in our lives. Relationships may come and go, lovers had and lovers lost, but through it all we'll always still be met with ourselves.
So nurture yourself. You will always be the one to know when you need help, what you need to feel fulfilled, and what it is that truly drives you. So be kind to yourself. When you listen to yourself and hold yourself in higher esteem you naturally make the choices that are right for you.
How can we practice self-love?
Practicing self-love or acts of self-care is different for everyone. For some, it's taking the time to eat your favorite meal - one that nourishes both the body and the soul. For others it may be taking the time to journal at the end of the day to wind down and reflect on what brought you joy.
However you wish to practice self-love, keep this in mind. Sometimes we think of self-love as yet another box to be marked on our to-do list. Instead, try to think of self love as an intention. You're doing something because you care about yourself, not because it's something you've been told you should do. It's not something you have to get done--it's something that brings you peace and helps you become a better you!
Self-love practices are different for everyone, but here's a few ideas that might help you find a ritual that is special to you.
Connect with others that are kind and loving to you on a regular basis. Setting "dates" to physically meet with loved ones helps you slow down and appreciate the time with them vs. just connecting via text.
Give yourself pep talks. While it might seem silly, giving yourself a pep talk is as natural as if you were to give your friend a rallying boost of self-esteem! Look at yourself in the mirror and imagine yourself as a caring friend. Pour positive energy into yourself with words of affirmation.
Start a gratitude journal. This doesn't have to seem like a chore either. Pick three things, no matter how small, that gave you joy today. Write them down in a physical journal, or even on your phone. Simply recalling small things that gave you joy can help you slow down, appreciate things and set the intention of seeing life in a positive light.
Find Love for Yourself Through Therapy in Charlotte, NC
It's one thing to read about self-love and another to practice it. Completely understandable. Sometimes it's hard to make that first step, or maybe it's not the first step, but continuing small practices that help you love yourself. No matter if you're stuck in the beginning of your self-love journey or the middle, I'm here for you. One of the biggest ways I help others as a licensed counselor is by helping you find kindness for yourself. If you're a resident of North Carolina, feel free to reach out for a free consultation.
Take care,
Cheryl D. Perry MA LCMHCA NCC
I would like to be clear that this blog post is not intended to substitute for professional counseling. If you are in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional counselor.
