Getting Unstuck

You know where you want to be.

You’ve named your obstacles. You might have even written them down, cried over them, or maybe even brought them up in therapy.

You’re aware that you’re stuck–not in a hopeless way, but in that deeply frustrating way. 

You tell yourself you want to change. That you need to change. But you just can’t seem to get going.

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many folks, especially those juggling work stress, mental health, family responsibilities, and that ever-elusive desire for balance, find themselves caught in this situation. Maybe you feel like this happens seasonally, or every few months, or maybe for no reason at all.

Let’s talk about why this happens, what motivation is (and isn’t), and how motivational interviewing and other compassionate tools can help gently nudge you forward.

Why Motivation Feels So Elusive

We often think of motivation as this magical, energetic burst that’s supposed to sweep us off the couch and into our best life. But more often than not, motivation doesn’t start with a burst at all. It starts with something much smaller and quieter: a whisper of curiosity, a flicker of energy, a single question like What if?

And then… it fizzles. Life interrupts. Your alarm goes off, and instead of stretching and lacing up your shoes for that morning run, you hit snooze. Again.

Why?

No, you’re not lazy. You’re human. And motivation isn’t a constant state. It’s an elusive, shifting force. Stress, perfectionism, overwhelm, trauma, and even just everyday burnout can all smother motivation, even when you want something badly.

This is where motivational interviewing (MI) might come in.

Feeling Stuck?

What Is Motivational Interviewing?

Motivational interviewing (often referred to as MI) is a collaborative, non-judgmental approach to change that helps people move from “stuck” to “ready”. Originally used in addiction counseling, it’s now widely applied in therapy, coaching, and healthcare settings as an effective way to change our behaviors. MI addresses both the parts of us that want change and the parts of us that resist it.

What is most important to know about MI is this: You already hold the wisdom. As a therapist, I’m not here to tell you what to do, I’m here to help you listen more closely to yourself.

In MI, the goal isn’t to push or persuade, but to explore. During motivational interviewin,g you might be asked questions like:

• “What would life look like if you made that change?”

• “What’s keeping you where you are?”

• “What do you love about your current situation—and what don’t you?”

It’s not about guilt. It’s about curiosity and compassionate honesty. It helps you find your real why–your deeply personal, meaningful reason for taking that first step.

The Power of Small, Joyful Steps

Perhaps you’re waiting for that therapy session so you can try MI. Or, maybe you’re not ready to start therapy. Whatever the case, you might be asking what can help you in the here and now. Let’s say you want to become more physically healthy. You’ve bought the gym membership. You’ve even planned out your workouts. But somehow, the alarm goes off, and your body stays in bed.

Instead of trying to summon the motivation to go all-in, what if you asked: What’s one small thing I could do this morning that would feel good?

For example, you might take a color walk, a short stroll around the block where you focus on spotting as many things of a certain color as you can. It’s gentle. It’s sensory. It reminds your brain and body that movement can be pleasant, not punishing.

This is how change starts. Not with perfection, but with glimmers. Those tiny sparks that make you feel present, calm, and joyful.

What are your glimmers? What makes you feel alive, even a little? What makes you want to glow? Is it the warmth of the sun on your face in the morning (that then boosts your mood and helps regulate your circadian rhythm)? Is it your favorite song (that makes your blood pump, and your foot bounce)? Is it petting your dog or cat (that makes your oxytocin flow and your face light up)?

Each of these moments is small. But glimmers work because they create emotional momentum. They shift your internal state just enough to help you believe that change is possible, and that you’re already moving toward it, even if it doesn’t look like a big leap.

Therapy in Charlotte, NC and South Carolina to Help Find Those Glimmers

Motivation isn’t about force. It’s about alignment.

When you’re stuck, it’s not a sign you’ve failed. It’s a sign that something inside you is asking for a new way forward, one rooted in curiosity, compassion, and you-sized steps.

Believe it or not, you already hold the map to where you want to go. Therapy, motivational interviewing, and glimmer-sized habits can help you read it more clearly.

Next time you find yourself frustrated with yourself for being “stuck”, ask yourself, “What makes me glimmer? That gives me joy and takes me one tiny step forward?”

Then do that. And tomorrow, another.

If you’d like help finding your glimmers and are interested in learning more about motivational interviewing and how therapy can help you thrive, please reach out for a complimentary 30-minute phone consultation. 

I would like to be clear that this blog post is not intended to substitute for professional counseling. If you are in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional counselor.

Cheryl D. Perry MA, LCMHC, LPC, NCC